Grey Matter

Drink lots of more (Buttermilk) + Hear Illiayaraja = Ultimate Bliss

I got the book called the Society of Others as part of my book hunting.It was written by William Nicholson who is the co-writer for the movie gladiator.I didn’t know anything about the book when i started reading that.I like it that way.When you read the reviews before reading the book most of the times you will know more than what you need to know and that spoils the fun of finding things out yourself.

Society of others is a dark,funny,cinematic,thriller-like,intelligent,philosophical novel.Writing a philosophical novel is a difficult task.You must take care the reader doesn’t get bored.And this book pulls it off very well.

I am not going to divulge the story to you except for this: An uninterested guy makes a back packing tour to nowhere.Not nowhere exactly.Its just that he doesn’t have a destination and goes about hitch hiking without asking for the place names.Doesn’t it sound like an interesting adventure?

Society of others is a brilliant novel.It transcends from the realistic world to a bit of surrealism at the climax.And i didn’t have a problem with that. When you introduce surrealism the whole essence of the book shouldn’t be lost. The Alchemist was one book that i know of which made this mistake.Alchemist is an over rated crap according to me.
The other philosophical book that i started reading recently is Atlas Shrugged.Now you might very well recognise this book and its author Ayn Rand.Atlas shrugged is considered to be a master piece of Ayn Rand.But then i didn’t like it at all.I stopped reading it after reading the first 355 pages.
I had many problems reading that.Its central theme of objectivism sucks.Not just because its just similar to selfishness.Infact its more dangerous than that. Objectivism would create more problems than solve the existing ones.
There are books that i have read just for the beauty of the narration even if i didn’t like the story. Atlas Shrugged doesn’t qualify for such a read also. The style of Ayn Rand is pretty ordinary. The plot is cliched,sex introduced at random intervals just like item numbers in Desi movies.

It is a highly over-rated crap.Just like the Alchemist.

Lesson learnt: Crap can become popular.Learn to write perfect crap.

PS: I can lend you the Society of Others book if i know you.
But you will have to return it in good condition before i forget who i gave it to or before you forget that you got a book from me.

Well i know a lot of writers who also have a blog. This is about bloggers who become writers because they are bloggers.

I see a lot of bloggers like Amit Varma,Kiruba Shankar are these days writing in newspapers. Newspapers with all these competition around are trying to make a difference with having bloggers write columns for them.

But then most bloggers are ego centric.You see a lot of ‘I’ in their posts/columns. Kiruba’s column in some paper had a piece like this

I bought a super small laptop. /so what?/

It looks more like my daughters toy /Ahem.Ahem/

So on.In the end i was asking.So whats your point?

themaanga always has sarcastic remark about the columns these people write.

When i found krishashok’s column last week on paper.I was surprised. The content was more like his blog posts.While it is perfectly a good blog post.Some how it doesn’t fit into newspaper.Even if it is in a magazine section which not many reads.

Finally after all these years i have discovered the best possible way to eat bitter gourd.(Pavakkai in tamil and hence hereafter referred to as Pavakkai)

God created pavakkai and brinjal to torture us human beings. Those are the two weapons my family used all these while against me. My mother would say “if you won’t get up early in the morning and read i will cook pavakkai for you”. My father would say “If he doesn’t come to this wedding function cook for him a brinjal curry in the night.”

It took a lot of rebeling from me for them to stop cooking brinjal. But pavakkai is still around since they say its a healthy vegetable.

When we all eat together i would make strategies for not eating pavakkai.I would collect all the pavakkai hide it under rice in a strategic place from which no one would know i have hidden the pavakkais.

I will start some conversation.When everybody is busy in animated converstation i would quickly put all the pavakkai under the plate and hide it.

I will collect all the pavakkai, state that i will eat it in the end along with curd rice and when no one notices quickly finish my curd rice,hide the pavakkai in the palms disguising with the plate and would take it to the sink along with the plate and dispose them off.

They all know that i don’t eat my share of pavakkai but i maintain that i am innocent until i am proven guilty.They are yet to find me red handed disposing the pavakkais.

When i read that the sides of your mouth doesn’t have taste buds for bitterness i got an idea.

I took the pavakkai completely surrounded with rice.So that no part of it touches my tongue.Inserted the ball to the left most corner of the mouth.Munched it in between the teeth and the side of my mouth,never allowing it to touch the tongue.And found a narrow passage at the back side right next to the last molar teeth to the food pipe and swallowed it through that. Wow! i didn’t taste that at all but yet ate PAVAKKAI.

After trying this out.I immediately called people in my house to demonstrate that i am eating pavakkai.

“come lets go soon.Its already 8.I have to be at home by 9″
“Ok where to go? what to buy?”
“That is the million dollar question.How about clock?”
“Clocka..thats is so 20th century.He would get n number of clocks”
“Ok come soon.We will decide after going to the shop.”
“Ok.”

8.10 pm
“Hey we will go inside vitan and see if anything interesting is there”
“Its not vitan anymore.Its nishant foods private limited”
“Yeah.That owner is a KD.Opened as franchise for vitan.Learnt the trade from them now having his own brand.”
“Nishant paruppu,nishant arisi”
“Thats what man.We must market our own products.Thats where you can get much profit.Remember Nilgiris.They did it first.”

8.20 pm
“Nothing interesting here man.Only clocks.Which i am totally against and some flower vases.”
“Yes.Is there any other shop?”
“There is one at gopalpuram.Its got better collection than this one.”
“Come lets go there and see”

8.45 pm
“Man that shop is closed.Its SUNDAY.”
“My,my.. is there anyother shop near by.”
“Guess not.Don’t people in goplapuram give gifts at all.No gift shops around.”
“Come lets go back.”
“Mea Culpa.We shouldn’t have come to gopalpuram.We should have gone towards luz.”
“What is Mea Culpa.”
“That is Latin man.Meaning my mistake.Its fashionable these days to mix foreign languages while speaking English.Just as people mix English while speaking Tamil.”
“Yes.We can blabber something and state that it is in Malta language.People will go like Maltava..where is it? you know that language.”

8:50 pm
“Lets go towards music academy.There we will have shops.”
“What is this man.We could have got the clock itself.Don’t even know what to gift.”
“Thats why we must have girlfriends.You know by this time we would have developed the habit of gifting.
Remember this is first anniversary of the day you saw me at the beach-gift.Remember this is the second anniversary of the day you gave me a slap-gift.”
“Ah.Girlfriends! very bad man.See this kareeena kapoor,aishwarya rai and the likes.Kareena thought poor Shahid would become big someday.But when she realised this fellow is not of any use switched to Saif.Its all money man.”

9:00 pm
“Now we have to take a desicion.”
“Decisiona.Adapaavi.I thought you will show some shop here.Standing in middle of the road and saying we have to take a decision”
“Yes.We have to take a decision.We have to decide whether turn left,right or go straight.”
“What is the probability of availability of shops on a sunday on cathedral road.Lets find out by going right.”
“Yes there must be some shops in front of Chola.”

9:15 pm
“Man what happened to the shops that were here?”
“That was long time back.No gifts shops out here.”

9.20 pm
“Hey remember that grains.”
“What grains?”
“That thing man.Soft grains? pillow”
“Oh Yes that snow bean pillow.”
“We used see it lifestyle.And he is fond of them.That would make a perfect gift.”
“If only you had got this idea when we were at my home,we would have saved one and half hour of walking”
“Now how to go to lifestyle”
“We will catch a bus.But murphy’s law states that we will not get the bus when we urgently reqire it”
“Will lifestyle will be open now?”
“Dunno .”

9:30 pm
“At last.See the lifestyle closing time.10 pm.Lucky for us.”
“Lets go see other things if we did not find anything else, we will buy the snow bean pillow itself”

“How about candles? He can light this at his room and feel romantic.”
“His father will give a long stare at us.Thinking what these guys are”
“Ok.How about this vase”
“This doesn’t look like a vase.Looks like a very huge beer pint.”
“If he had been a drunkard we can happily give this filled with beer”

“Hey shall we give that baby carriage.He will need it one day”
“But the mother of the baby in that would kick us that we are kidnapping her child”
“Oh that is not for sale.I thought it was also for sale”

“Its going to be 10.Lets better get the pillow itself.”
“Ok.We will gift wrap it here itself.Do they gift wrap it here?”
“I will better ask.”

10:00 pm
“This queue its taking longer.Go to the next queue.Its already 10.These people are moving out!”

10:10 pm
“we have bought it.But nobody is left to gift wrap it.”

10:15 pm
“Lets do it tomorrow morning.But i dont think any shop would be open by 7 o clock.”
“Lets see.No other go.Take this home.”
“I am not taking this home.I dont want any scoldings from my parents.They might ask would anyone give a pillow as gift.”
“Adapaavi.But we have to gift wrap it.”
“Dont worry i will buy the wrap and cello tape we will do it ourselves.You had to be in the house by 9.Go home soon.”

Next day morning 7:00 am

“Man no shops.No gift papers.”
“Lets go to his place and see there if any shop is near by.”

7:20 am
“We will check out in this street”
“These people are looking as if we are some aliens.”
“Yes.I dont think this area has any shops.We will ask someone.”

7:23 am
“We will ask the watch man of his building.He will no better.”
“Yes”

“He is saying there are no shops here.We have to go to doveton it seems.Where is this doveton?”
“Who knows”
“Man.Idea.We will buy the morning newspaper.And gift wrap it in that.And say that it is the latest fashion.”
“No way.Gift means it must be in that glittering glittering sheets”

7:30 am
“It is of no use.Searching for a shop early in the morning.You keep this in your bag.We will call him outside.And give it to him.”
“No man.That will not look good.”

7:45 am
“We will ask someone in that barber shop”

“He is simply pointing to some potti kadai.I dont think that shop has gift wraps”

8:00 am
“Man lets try that potti kadai.Last try”

8:05 am
“Do you have gift wraps?”
“He is signalling he is having it.”
“Please gift wrap this.Use how many ever paper you want.”
“3 cheers to Kavitha Stores.The only store with gift wrap on a monday morning in the whole of neighbourhood”

Somebody had commented this on my post about detecting IE7 in javascript.Akismet caught this as spam:

One afternoon, I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when I walked into the house, he followed me, sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour.
This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: “Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap. ”
The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: “He lives in a home with ten children – he’s trying to catch up on his sleep.”

I cried from laughter
Sorry, if not left a message on Rules.

When ever Deccan Chargers loses The New Indian Express gets excited.It prints the news as DC loses. DC loses again.DC loses yet again etc., for it is one way of mocking Deccan Chronicle who is the owner of the team and a competitor to Indian Express.

Meanwhile Times of India which chose to refer the DC team as Team Hyderabad initially have started refering to them as Deccan Chargers.It was funny to read when they referred all other teams with their proper names(such as Kolkata Knight Riders) but only their competitors team as Team Hyderabad.

Gemini Music is a Telugu music channel.As is the case with all channels the VJs in this also kill the language.There is a lot of un intended pun.

Take this for example: “Andy” is an addendum in Telugu to give respect to the person you are talking to.That is ounu is to say yes to somebody you dont have to respect such as your friend.And ounandi is for elderly and respectable people.
The VJ attends her caller and greets them HIUndy. The Hi part is English.The Undy part is Telugu.But if you dont understand telugu then you may be left wondering why she greets every one as under garments.

Hi Undy!
WTF.Why do call me Undy.

Then there are these callers who call and ask the VJ to say a BIG Hi to their beloved ones.Now.What is a BIG Hi.How big it is.So Hi comes in various sizes is it.
And why should the VJ say a Hi to the unknown beloved one of the caller.Why cant a caller himself say a big Hi or whatever to his girl friend.